she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
