guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
