Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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