A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
