one two three fourrrrnication!
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
