he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
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If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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