I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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