I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
