he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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