Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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