the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
