are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just cut my nipple shaving
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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