Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
