Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize