I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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