just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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