Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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