i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize