Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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