Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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