Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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