Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
