Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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