Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
