one two three fourrrrnication!
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
