No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Hippo gnu deer
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
