it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Randomize
