even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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