We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
