You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
4 words: hood of his car
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
