Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
