She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
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Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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