I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
