you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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