You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
