I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
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At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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