That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Randomize
