The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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