All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
