I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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