you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
