Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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