why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Is Oprah even human
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
