Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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