Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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