She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Randomize