I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
