of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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