I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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