last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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