My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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