Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize