Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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