HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
