He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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