How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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