Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
