I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He better not be in your backpack
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
