can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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