my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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