After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
