In the future we'll all be gay
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
PANTIES FOUND
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